Ask for Help from a Position of Strength, Not Weakness

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Imagine you’re handed a new project at work that requires skills or information you don’t have. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, and while asking for help can be intimidating, you can do so in a way that actually demonstrates your strength, competence, and professionalism. Here’s how.
 
Start strong. Avoid phrases like “I hate to bother you.” Instead, begin with a clear purpose. For example, “I’d like to get your thoughts on a challenge I’m facing,” or “I’m working on this project and would like to bounce some ideas off you.”
 
Be precise and concise. Make your request clear and specific. Instead of “I’m having trouble with this presentation. Can you help?” try “I’ve prepped content for the board presentation, but I’m not sure about the order of slides five through 10. Could you take a look?”
 
Explain what work you’ve already done. For example, “I’ve mapped out three potential scenarios for the project timeline. Can we chat about which is most realistic?” This will demonstrate that you’ve done your due diligence and help narrow the focus of your request.

Ask for advice. Framing your request as a desire to learn or seek mentorship can be effective, too. Research finds people are more likely to do you another favor if they’ve already helped you once. Why? Because we tend to justify our actions by assuming we must like the person we’re helping.

So instead of saying “Can you help me with this?” try “I’d like to understand how you approach this kind of problem. Could you walk me through your thought process?” This shows you value their expertise and want to learn, not just get a quick fix.

Remember, most people enjoy feeling knowledgeable and helpful. By asking for advice, you’re giving them an opportunity to feel good about themselves. Plus, asking for help with confidence doesn’t just change how others see you, it also changes how you see yourself. You begin to trust your own judgment more. You start to see challenges as puzzles you can solve. You feel more capable and in control, even when things get tough.

Check out a related post:  Assertive Communication: Asking For What You Want Firmly and Fairly.

To your greater success and fulfillment,

Peter Mclees, Leadership Coach, Trainer and Performance Consultant
SMART DEVELOPMENT

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