There is a lot of drama in the workplace today. Gallup research indicates that approximately $350 BILLION in lost productivity occurs annually because of negative behavior in organizations. Other studies have found that managers spend as much as 40% of their time dealing with conflict and drama—and as one colleague quipped, that number is probably even higher in some organizations.
Drama is emotional waste which is defined as “mentally wasteful thought processes or unproductive behavior that keeps the leader or their teams from delivering the highest level of results.
If you’ve ever had one of those days—traffic jams, emails that multiply like rabbits, and your computer deciding to revolt—it’s tempting to treat venting like an Olympic sport. Many managers believe that venting is a productive strategy for dealing with stress and frustration. They may see it as a way to release tension and foster open communication within their teams.
However, you might want to toss your emotional “air horn” aside. Turns out, venting doesn’t just provide short-term relief; it wires your brain to keep venting. So instead of solving problems with cool-headed creativity, you’re training yourself to become a professional whiner.
But fear not! Rather than prepping for your next emotional outburst, try a different approach: pause and ask yourself, “What’s the actual issue?” Give your frustrations a name, then channel your inner Sherlock Holmes—look for solutions, not just culprits. You’ll find that addressing problems with equanimity (that’s just a fancy word for calm, by the way) not only makes you feel saner, but it also saves your coworkers from ducking behind their monitors.
So next time you want to vent, remember: your brain is listening, and it’s ready to turn your grievances into a habit. Instead, breathe deep—try the 5-5-5 breathing technique: inhale for five seconds, hold for five, and exhale for five. Use “name it to tame it” by labeling your feelings to gain control. Ask yourself better questions, like “What can I learn from this?” or “How could I respond differently?” Shift your perspective from a victim story to one where you’re empowered to act. Solve the problem with creativity. And if all else fails, maybe just give your computer a pep talk—it deserves one too.
The same is true when managing employees who want to vent—allowing this behavior often reinforces negative patterns and fails to address the underlying causes of workplace drama.
Instead of just encouraging venting, try empathizing—acknowledging the person’s emotions—and ask empowering questions like “What’s in your control right now?” or “Given _____ (whatever happened), what can you do to successfully regain some peace of mind?” Or “What does great look like for you right now?” Then affirm the person’s ability to thoughtfully respond instead of just emotionally react. Also, invite the person to read my blog post: 6 Magic Words that Will Increase Your Influence and Reduce Your Stress. (5 min read)
If the person's manager, consider scheduling a time to discuss with the employee their takeaways from the blog post and the challenging situation. Explore ways they can empower themselves, rather than letting an event or person control their reactions. This proactive approach helps foster personal growth and resilience while reducing the cycle of emotional drama in the workplace.
Workplace drama can be a real energy drain, but recognizing it gives us a chance to boost efficiency and create a happier, more productive environment. By shifting our focus away from anxiety and stress, we open the door to healthier habits, improved well-being, and a more positive atmosphere for everyone.
To your greater emotional intelligence and well-being,
Peter Mclees, Leadership Coach, Trainer and Performance Consultant
SMART DEVELOPMENT
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