Gloom,
despair, agony (people of a certain age might be reminded of a song
right about now). All are emotional responses to hardships. We’ve all
experienced these events and these emotions, yet some people seem to
have a different perspective on these events – have they found benefits
in suffering? I believe they have – and you can find them too.
While
we will all experience hardships of all sorts in our lives, what we do
with them are choices we can make. But the choices we make are connected
to the perspective and viewpoint that we have – so let’s start there.
How Do You See Hardships?
Through
the lens of our ancestors, many of our hardships wouldn’t seem all that
big. A delayed cross-country flight isn’t much compared to a
treacherous, months-long journey from the same starting and ending
point. Or the power being off for a few hours, compared to not having
yet harnessed electricity.
Some
people I know call these small challenges “First World problems.” This
perspective itself helps us move past these inconveniences with a new,
more helpful perspective.
But hardships come in bigger sizes than
those. What about the unexpected loss of a family member, friend, or
job? What about a health challenge or environmental calamity? These
aren’t just “First World problems” - these happenings represent the
realities of life. If you see these as personal affronts to you, as
reasons for blame or anxiety, we will likely live in the suffering
longer – and not find the benefits of suffering that can be there – if
we see them.
What are the Benefits of Suffering?
There are
plenty of benefits that can come from suffering. Some of those that seem
most generally true (across people and situations) include:
Building Resilience and Confidence. Making it through one hardship proves to yourself that you can cope with future challenges. Suffering can enhance your ability to cope with future challenges.
Gaining Perspective. Difficult experiences often provide a broader perspective on life, helping you appreciate the good times and see through the next challenge.
Fostering Empathy. When you move through hardships, you are better able to be empathetic towards others in similar situations.
Sparking Creativity. Adversity can fuel creativity and innovation – which you need to deal with the hardships you face.
Strengthening Relationships. Shared suffering can bring people closer together, strengthen connections, and build community.
Increasing Personal Growth and Learning.
Overcoming hardships can lead to new insights, learning and growth. One
of the biggest benefits of suffering is what we can learn through a
challenging situation.
I am not saying we need to seek out or
search for suffering, but we also don’t need to work harder than
necessary to avoid it either. When you look at this list of benefits of
suffering, we can begin to view hardships as an opportunity at least as
much as a challenge.
How Can You Use These Ideas as a Leader?
All
these benefits of suffering listed above can also help us as leaders.
Beyond that, I believe that the perspective we gain through our own
growth and learning can be shared with others in a mentoring and helpful
way. The point isn’t to downplay or minimize the hardships of your team
but help them see through another lens – a lens of possibility and
benefit rather than suffering, concern and worry.
Click on the links to read two related posts:
Build Resilience Against Stress By Managing Your Inner Dialogue (5 min)
15 Quotes about Bouncing Back from Set Backs (3 min)
I invite you to write and post this statement to have at the ready for the bad days: "Bad times can offer good teachings."
I also offer you at no extra charge (😏) 10 Ways to Make a Bad Day Better. Click here
Peter Mclees, Leadership Coach, Trainer and Performance Consultant
SMART DEVELOPMENT
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