You know, after a half-century, you’d think we’d all be experts at this friendship thing—like there should be a lifetime achievement award just for remembering everyone’s nickname and not accidentally calling someone by their dog’s name from 1974. Yet here we are, squinting at Facebook profile pictures and wondering, “Did they always have that much hair in high school, or is that just a very optimistic filter?
The Difference Between Knowing Someone and Being a True Friend
So, it’s been over fifty years since graduation, and a lot of us are still in touch through social media and the occasional gatherings. It makes you wonder—does simply knowing someone for decades make you real friends, or does friendship take more than just time?
Nostalgia can be a gentle liar; it wraps our memories in golden light and assures us that familiarity is synonymous with friendship. When we meet at reunions or exchange the occasional holiday card, it is easy to marvel at how quickly the years seem to melt away—how swiftly an old joke or a remembered anecdote can revive the echo of laughter from days gone by.
Check out a related post: Waxing Nostalgic for Old High School Relationships Is Like Eating Cotton Candy
Yet, upon honest reflection, it becomes clear that time alone does not guarantee a viable friendship. We may know each other’s childhood nicknames, remember whose locker squeaked in the hallway, and recall the lyrics to the boss songs that played at our senior prom. But do we know who we have become? More importantly, have we made an effort to find out?
Real friendship changes and grows as life moves on. The people who stay close are the ones you keep having experiences with, the ones you talk to and support through all of life’s ups and downs. Just knowing each other for a long time isn’t enough—you have to put in the work and actually be there.
If you don’t reach out every so often or stay engaged, even the oldest friendships can fade. Those shared memories are a strong foundation, but without new conversations or checking in, the bond can start to drift. Little things, like texting when nothing special is happening or opening up about what’s really going on in your life, keep the connection alive. And, since people change over time, friendships might need to adjust too.
When you don’t put in the effort, those old friendships might not disappear overnight, but they can slowly become more distant. Still, it’s never too late to reconnect—sometimes, just reaching out can bring things back, even if the friendship looks a little different.
For a friendship to really work, both people have to care and put in the time. It’s about respect, empathy, and showing up. Think of it like tending a garden: if you give it attention, it grows and stays healthy.
Having friends you’ve known for years is rare, but the real value comes from what you do now and in the future. You can always choose to stay close or let things change, depending on what feels right for both of you.
Bottom line, friendships don’t just last on their own—you’ve got to make an effort. Just knowing someone isn’t the same as being a real friend. If you want to keep those meaningful connections, reaching out and staying involved is key.
And if all else fails, you can always remind your old friends that you still remember what their hair looked like in the 70s—now that’s a bond no amount of time (or questionable fashion choices) can break!😏
Cheers,
Peter (Pete) Mclees
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