Handling Complainers and Blamers

Complainers and blamers are combined because they are such close cousins. The most important thing the characters have in common is that each points for problems away from himself. Often they work as a sort of tag team. The complainer points out something negative and the blamer jumps in and points a finger at somebody—internal or external.

What’s the difference between the complaining and troubleshooting? Complainers often complain that they get a bad rap: “After all, isn’t it important to point out problems? Are we supposed to pretend that everything is OK even when it’s not?” Here’s the key difference: Complainers typically make noise about the symptoms of a problem (the pain), whereas troubleshooter go looking for the root causes

Blamers may resort, in defense of their blaming, “Looking for the root cause is exactly what I’m doing. And the root cause has to be something, or someone.

When I point out the root cause, I am tarred as a ‘blamer.’” So what’s the difference: The blamer is focused on who else did something wrong, the troubleshooter is focused on what steps she can take herself to make things better.

Things go wrong in every workplace. No matter how great your work, your colleagues, or your organization, problems are an everyday reality. Mostly these problems are probably not caused by the complainers and the blamers. And it is plenty likely that neither the complainer nor the blamer will be in a position to correct many of the problems which might well have an impact on them.

That’s one of the prime frustrations for most people in the workplace: It’s easy to identify problems, but not so easy to solve them.

The regular one-on-ones are a natural venue in which everybody can raise points of pain on regular basis and work with you to either move toward a solution or create a coping mechanism. Ask the complainers and the blamers both to keep a running list of pain points. You can always defer complaining and blaming to the running list and make time in your one-on-ones for discussion. When they start to complain or blame in any other conversation or meeting, just remind them: “Add that to the list and let’s make time to discuss this in our next one-on-one.”

It's a good idea to ask the complainer/blamer to lay her case in writing:

·        Here’s the point of pain.
·        Here’s why it’s bad for the business.
·        This is the root cause.
·        These are the options for a solution.
·        This is the solution I propose.
·        This is why this solution is best for the business.
·        Here’s what it would cost—money, time, people, and other resources.
·        This is where we could get the resources.
·        This is what the plan would look like.
·        Here’s the role I propose for myself in executing that plan.

This is a great way to get a complainer or blamer to consider: Is this a serious point of pain?

The most common problems you tend to hear about from complainers and blamers are not emergencies, or anything special, for that matter. They are usually small mistakes, omissions, and inconveniences that occur in the regular course of business. No problem is so small that it should be left alone; small problems too often fester and grow into bigger problems.

So jump on the complainers’ and blamers’ unfailing eye for even the smallest points of pain and constantly reiterate the expectation: “Whenever you diagnose a problem, no matter how small, go into troubleshooting mode. Take responsibility. Focus on finding the root cause and focus on what you can do to attempt to fix it.”

You do want to hear about it when things do wrong, but always in a professional, productive manner. Talking about small problems—whatever they may be---should be something you do as a matter of course in your regular one-on-ones anyway. Addressing one small problem after another is what ongoing continuous performance improvement is all about.

Teach the complainers and blamers to be troubleshooters—a great metamorphosis for everybody involved. It’s always a good thing to have more troubleshooters on the team.

To your greater success and fulfillment,

Peter Mclees, Leadership Coach, Trainer and Performance Consultant

SMART DEVELOPMENT

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