Handling an Employee Who Disagrees with their Performance Review

Dear Leader’s Digest~

I held a performance review with one of my employees. The way we do it on my team is that we ask the employee to assess their performance before the review meeting. Next, we provide our review: the ratings and summaries to support them. It's not unusual for this particular employee to offer a higher evaluation than myself, but this time she rated herself much higher.

And here's the tricky part. At the end of the performance review I like to create improvement goals. I did, but she disagreed with all of them because she thinks she walks on water and I think she's under water. Now she's got goals I know she doesn't believe she needs to work on for the next review period.

What next?


Dear What Next,

Sounds like an awkward moment. One we've been in ourselves. It should be no surprise to those of us in leadership positions that we often have to confront people's illusions about themselves. The fact that human beings have an incredibly inflated sense of efficacy is also no surprise. I attended a friends' son's soccer game one day and smiled when I heard parents from both sides swearing vehemently that the ref was obviously playing for the other team. We all think we do better, deserve more, and are perfectly informed far more often than is the case. (Note: The ref did, in fact, favor the opposing team).

The tricky thing in performance appraisals is that even leaders might have an inflated sense of rightness (Unless you have accurate and complete documentation). And these leaders are reviewing someone who likely suffers from the same affliction. So how can two imperfect human beings muddle their way toward truth?

The answer is to trust the conversation and the facts. A better approximation of truth is much more likely to emerge through healthy dialogue that has an ample supply of concrete examples. So here are a few tips to help make the conversation productive in the emotionally charged atmosphere of a performance evaluation.

1. Decide how to decide. To avoid violated expectations and resentment, be clear up front that while your strong preference is to arrive at consensus about the rating and goals, at the end of the discussion you as the supervisor are charged with making the final decision. Do not overstate this—let your employee know that you are willing to spend the time and energy required to reach a common view of things and would only make an independent decision if it's clear you cannot do so in a reasonable amount of time.


2. Don't own the burden of proof—share it. Don't get cornered into feeling like you have to convince your employee that you are "right." That's not your job. Your job is simply to share your view. If you find yourself trying to convince the employee that your view is "right," then you've stepped out of dialogue and into monologue. You need to step away from your own conclusions and recognize that they are just one view of the truth. Take a few deep breaths and open yourself to a different perspective. Share the responsibility for arriving at the "right" conclusion. Let her know that you'd like her help in making sense of a substantial amount of data supporting your view and your rating.

3. Separate content and pattern. Often, the disconnect comes because the supervisor has seen a pattern and is attempting to help the employee recognize and take responsibility for this pattern. Yet the employee doesn't own up to these behaviors. Instead, he or she explains away one data point after another.

For example, you say, "On a number of occasions, customers have complained that you were brusque or impatient with them." There's the pattern you're trying to establish.

To which your employee says, "Can you give me an example?"

Now, here's where it gets slippery. At this point, you must give her examples. You can't expect her to just nod robotically to the pattern you're alleging she has demonstrated. So you give an example: "Last Friday a customer told me that after she complained to you about some moldy strawberries that you barely acknowledged him and walked away without saying a word." To which she says, "I remember that—and that's not what happened. Yes, I didn't say anything, but I smiled and waved and turned to get a phone call that had been on hold."

This is a tricky point in the conversation because something subtle just happened. If you don't catch it, you'll end this performance review feeling unsatisfied and at odds. You'll avoid this outcome if you can recognize what your employee just did. What was it?

She changed the subject from a pattern conversation to a content conversation. You're now discussing what happened last Friday rather than what happens as a pattern.

Here's what you have to do to move back to the right conversation: "I see—and I can see how you might have thought you handled things right in that instance. But what I need your help with is the pattern that has emerged. I can share three different examples with you—and there may be an extenuating circumstance in each—and yet the pattern is more consistent with you than with other members of the team. That's what I'd like us to discuss and resolve."

Do you see what just happened? First, we tried to share responsibility for addressing our mutual understanding of the issue. Second, we moved the conversation from content back to pattern. And finally, we set expectations that if she continues to give explanations for every element of the pattern, she'll still need to address why the pattern is different for her than for other employees.

Now, even if you do all of these things, you still may agree to disagree. In which case, you'll have to lean back on suggestion number one. You could end with something like: "Well, it seems like we see things differently. I appreciate your patience and hope you can see that I have sincerely wanted to understand your view, as well. Yet I still have to make my best judgment about what's going on and how to move ahead. I ask that you respect the position I'm in and make efforts to respond. I still believe this pattern of brusqueness with customers is an issue you should address. To do so, I ask you to do the following. . . and what ideas do you have?"

Your question demonstrates how seriously you take your coaching role. We applaud your efforts and wish you luck as you sort through your own self-illusions and work to be a positive influence on some of your similarly afflicted employees.

In the meantime, my buddy and I will keep trying to convince the ref that he's playing favorites!

All the success!

Peter Mclees

What makes a good manager?

No single answer may fit everyone, but certain traits are common among all respected leaders.

Whether you’re looking for management potential in your employees, or trying to improve your own performance, focus on these key characteristics:

·        Humility. Don’t adopt an arrogant, know-it-all attitude. Although you may be more experienced and knowledgeable than your employees, they’ll respect you more if you show a willingness to listen and learn instead of expecting unquestioning obedience.

·        Flexibility. One size rarely fits all in the workplace. You have to enforce rules and procedures consistently, but don’t treat every employee, and every situation, as indistinguishable from the rest. Look for solutions that meet individual needs as much as possible.

·        Honesty. Tell employees the truth about what’s going on in the organization. Yes, some information may be confidential, but share as much as you can about problems, opportunities, and performance so employees know you trust them and so they can make good decisions.

·        Planning. Try not to just react to what’s going on right now. Keep your eyes focused on the future, and share your strategy with your employees so they can feel confident about your leadership.

·        Patience. Do your best to stay calm under pressure. If employees worry that you’ll lose your temper or lash out at them, they won’t be comfortable alerting you to problems you need to know about. Learn how to deal with stress so you can keep a clear head no matter what happens.

All the success!

Peter Mclees

10 Surefire Ways to Create a Team of Winners

Want to be an excellent leader? A truly inspirational, effective agent of your team’s success? There is literally nothing harder – or more important – in the world of work. That’s why effective leaders are so rare in real life.

If that discourages you, them maybe you don’t have what it takes to lead after all. If it motivates you instead? Well, then, here are a few tips to take it from “in charge guy/gal” to “excellent leader !”

1. Repeat after me (to your team): “My job is to help you be successful by making your job easier.”

No, your job is not to give them the day off to shop while you finish up their work for them. But your job as leader – your only job, as leader – is to remove impediments and provide the tools for your people’s success. Take the obstacles out of their way and give them the resources so they can do the important work of your company: serving your customers!

2. Foster friendships among your staff.

After work socialization is important – it is! But nothing builds camaraderie and team spirit like shared success as the result of shared struggle. What’s your team’s greater goal? What significant challenges are you confronting that all of you can be proud of overcoming together?

3. Reward for the big things. And the medium things. And even the itty-bitty little things.

We like praise. We want recognition. One winner-takes-all vacation or mega-bonus for the year’s top performer is great and all, but how about a $5 Starbucks, or even a made-up certificate from your printer, because someone filed her report on time?

4. Push them.

People of quality want to be good at their jobs. Kindly help them to improve. …Kindly, but maybe not gently.

5. Release the “Just Enoughers” to other “opportunities.”
We all know the “Just Enoughers.” Employees that do just enough to avoid getting fired. No one likes to work with slackers – except other slackers. Redeploy them sooner than later. As the old saying goes, “If it’s inevitable, make it immediate.”

6. Hire slowly and caaaaarefully!

Show your current team members and your new recruits that not just anybody belongs on your team. If you want to build an elite group, hire top performers. You’ll have to kiss a lot of frogs as you vet the talent pond.

7. Give them something important to get up for in the morning.

Remember number 2, with the part about shared challenges? Pick a lofty goal. Then make pursuit of that the rallying cry of your team. Change lives, change how business is done; don’t just settle to change who wins this year’s sales contest.

8. Talk up your people to others.

Talk your team up to your peers, to their peers, to your boss and her boss and heck, to the security guard, too. Be proud of each of them, and share that pride with anyone who’ll listen. Word will filter back to them, and as it does, it will have have a major impact.

9. Expect the world of them.

Establish with your team how highly you respect and admire them. Expect big things from them. They will live up to your image of them, no matter what it takes.

10. Be worthy of their effort.

Want to really be the best, most effective leader ever? Work to improve yourself every day, in every way that is important to your team’s success. In order to lead a group of champions to new heights, you as leader must be worthyof the team’s time and energy. And that’s a lot more than we have room for in one blog post.

You will never be as good as you can be as a leader. But every hour of every day, if you’re sufficiently devoted to the success of your team, you can improve. Keep at it, and your people will start bragging about you – to their peers, your peers, your boss and her boss. And yes, even to the security guards.

When it percolates back to you how admired you are by those you serve as leader… you’ll be infinitely prouder than if they told you themselves!

All the success!

Peter McLees

Sage Advice from a 2000-Year-Old Slave

"The first person you lead is yourself."  
                                                           -Epictetus of  Hierapolis  55 to 135 C.E.

Standing in line at the register the other day in Portland, I couldn’t help overhearing the women on her cell phone in front of me.

Her mother had abused her. Her employer didn’t appreciate her. Her kids disrespected her. By the time she was done, I could have sworn I heard the sun was too bright outside and the birds were singing too loud.

Some things never change…

If a citizen of ancient Greece or Rome were magically transported into the modern era, he would be astounded by the current state of agriculture, transportation, housing, medicine, architecture, technology, and living standards.

But humanity itself would offer few surprises. We remain the same flawed human beings we always were, struggling with the same human faults our ancestors wrestled with millennia ago.

That is why ancient philosophers still speak to us—if we listen. The wisdom of the classical world transcends place and time.

The Stoic philosophy, for example, dominated the ancient world for nearly 600 years, beginning in the late 4^th century B.C.E.

Stoics believed that reason was supreme. Tranquility is only achieved, they taught, by suppressing irrational emotions—like regrets about the past—and accepting life’s unavoidable disappointments and setbacks.

One of the great exponents of Stoicism was a slave named Epictetus, born around 55 C.E. in the east outreaches of the Roman Empire.

Epictetus had few advantages in life. Aside from being born into slavery, he had a permanent physical disability. And he was poor, living a simple life in a small hut with no possessions.

Yet he became one of the leading thinkers of his age. When Epictetus was freed from slavery—we still don’t know how—he set up a philosophical school on the northwest coast of Greece, spending his days lecturing on how to live with dignity and tranquility.

As his reputation for wisdom grew, people flocked to hear him. One of his most distinguished students was the young Marcus Aurelius Antonius, who became ruler of the Roman Empire.

Epictetus was not one for airy theories (Read: The Secret). In his view, the job of philosophy is to help ordinary people deal with the challenges of everyday life. And his words, captured in a great book, The Art of Living, are a wise today as when he spoke them nearly 2,000 years ago:

“Keep your attention focused entirely on what is truly you own concern, and be clear that what belongs to others is their business and none of yours.

One of the clearest marks of the moral life is right speech….Glib talk disrespects others. Breezy self-disclosure disrespects yourself….If need be, be mostly silent or speak sparingly.

Let the quality of your deeds speak on your behalf. We can’t control the impressions others from about us, and the effort to do so debases our character. So, if anyone should tell you that a particular person has spoken critically of you, don’t bother with excuses of defenses. Just smile and reply, I guess that person doesn’t know about all my other faults. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have mentioned only these.”

Now is the time to get serious about living your ideals. Once you have determined the spiritual principles you wish to exemplify, abide by these rules as if they were laws.”

Epictetus had a deep understanding of human beings, of society…and of life. But he also understood death, too.

“I must die. If the time is now, I’m ready…How will I die? Like a man who gives up what belongs to another….A good death can only come from a good life.”

Epictetus argued that our prime motivation should be inner achievements, not outer ones. The right attitudes and values allow you to flourish no matter what the external world throws at you. Inner achievement lays the foundation for peace, tranquility, and personal freedom. And so he taught that true success comes from focusing ourselves within:

“We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose to respond to them.

“If someone irritates you, it is only your own response that is irritating you. Therefore, when anyone seems to be provoking you, remember that it is only your judgment of the incident that provokes you.”

“Those who are dedicated to a life of wisdom understand that the impulse to blame something or someone if foolishness, that there is nothing to be gained in blaming, whether if be others or oneself.”

“

If anyone is unhappy, remember that his unhappiness is his own doing…Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility except our own opinion.”

“He is wise who doesn’t grieve for the things he doesn’t have, but rejoices for the things he does have.”

“Fortify yourself with contentment, for it is an impregnable fortress.

Whether you are janitor or a CEO, Epictetus insists that your main job in life---your most important work---is improving yourself. Yet, always a realist, he emphasized moral progress over moral perfection.

Today Epictetus is widely recognized as the world’s first philosopher of personal freedom (Victor Frankel picks up on the theme in Man’s Search for Meaning). Its attainment, he insisted, is the result of mastering our thoughts, yielding to the inevitable, pursuing virtue rather than wealth and diverting our attention from constant desire, yearning and attachment.

In a modern translation of the Art of Living, philosophical writer Sharon Lebell observes that, “His was a moral teaching stripped of sentimentality, piousness, a and metaphysical mumbo-jumbo. What remains is the West’s first and best primer for living the best possible life.”

Ironic, isn’t it? A man born into slavery was among the first to show us a path to personal liberation.

“Anyone is free who lives as he wishes to live,” said Epictetus. “And no one is free who is not mater of himself.”

In the words of another Stoic, Seneca:

“As long as you live, keep learning how to live.”

Peter Mclees

smartdevelopmentinc.com

Life and Leadership Lessons from "It's a Wonderful Life"

Most of us have seen the classic holiday movie “It’s a Wonderful Life.” A lot of us have seen the film many times because it tells such a timeless and compelling story about how any one life can positively impact so many others. While the movie holds many life lessons, we feel it has a few leadership lessons as well.

For those who have not seen it,  “It’s a Wonderful Life” is the story of George Bailey—a man who serves and sacrifices for others. The Bailey Building and Loan lends money to poor people many of them would not own a home were it not for the BBL.  Mr. Potter, the arch villain in the film, is a greedy old man who thrives on exploiting people in Bedford Falls. He continually threatens the Bailey Building and Loan’s survival.

George Bailey is in conflict between his obligations and his dreams—He wants to get out of the small town of Bedford Falls (George remarked, “ I want to shake the dust off my feet of this shabby little town and see the world. I've got big ideas and big plans and I want to build big things.”) And as he said to his father at dinner one night—“I want to do something big and important.” His father replies: “In a small way we are doing something important—man has a fundamental urge to own a roof over his head.”

George’s ambitions are thwarted by old man Potter’s schemes. After his Father died George is on his way out of town. In a character defining moment George agrees to stay dashing his dreams of far-flung adventure—creating instead a more intimate adventure that has a far greater impact on his personal world.

The film shows that real influence comes not from title or rank (as George had no formal title in the town such as Mayor) but from attempting to connect and help the people around us.

The movie also shows us that as we make ourselves available to others with courage and caring our lives develop meaning and a legacy is created, not necessarily along the paths we intended but in small acts that make a difference. George Bailey shows that if we respond with generosity and compassion our lives would have meant something. But he didn't realize this fact until the end of the movie.

Scene: George, faced with financial and personal crisis and feeling that he never made it. He attempts suicide and Clarence his guardian angel (Read: life coach) gives him a privileged look at the impact of his life on the people in Bedford Falls

George Bailey only understands the dramatic difference he made when he sees what Bedford Falls became had he never lived.

Scene: George, in desperation and shock is walking along the snow-covered streets of what is now called Potterville—a town overrun by greed and selfishness.

Clarence  says “Strange isn't it, each man’s life touches so many other lives and when his isn't around he leaves an awful hole.”

In one of the most famous (and emotional) scenes in movie history: When the townspeople all came to George's house to contribute to the BBL deficit, George finally understands how his life of service has created deep commitment to him from the town’s people (when he was in need) even though he didn't know it.

George has a wealth far beyond material goods or power. Frank Capra reminds us that there is no substitute for relationships of integrity, trust and caring. Relationships that are forged through consistent acts of service.

Whatever our position, if we influence the lives of those around us, we are engaged in the act of leadership. And if we are leaders in any sense, we are also creating a legacy as we live our daily lives. Our leadership legacy is the sum total of the difference we make in people's lives, directly and indirectly, formally and informally.

George Bailey had created an enduring legacy because of his acts of caring, compassion, and courage.

Cheers to a new year and another chance to make a difference.

Peter Mclees

Rest in Peace Zig Ziglar

I am genuinely saddened by the news of the passing of Zig Ziglar, “the world’s most popular motivational speaker”. Because I’m grateful for the wisdom he shared, I’m compelled to help preserve his legacy.

My Favorite Zig Ziglar Keepers:

“You can have everything in life you want if you’ll just help enough other people to get what they want!”

“The most important persuasion tool you have in your arsenal is integrity.”

“The way you see people is the way you treat people.”

 “Efficiency is doing things right. Effectiveness is doing the right thing.”

“You cannot make it as a wandering generality. You must become a meaningful specific.”

 “People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing-that's why we recommend it daily."

“Every choice you make has an end result.”

“Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust."

“It’s not what you’ve got it’s what you use that makes a difference.”

I was privileged to personally hear Zig speak. It was at one of those motivational extravaganzas in 1987.  His presentation inspired this post about the place where I first gained wisdom and inspiration from him.

Rest in peace Zig Ziglar! Your wisdom and spirit live on.


Peter Mclees

My Top 40 Random Thoughts for Elevating Holiday Spirits

Yuletide Greetings ~

It was the week before Christmas last year when I was sitting in the my World Headquarters (My favorite chair) listening to that song “We Need A Little Christmas”. I was not in the Ho! Ho! Ho! holly jolly holiday mood. My outlook was more like Bah! Bah! Bah!...Humbug! "This too shall pass" (meaning the holidays). I didn't like my state of mind so I set out to change the way I was feeling. I made a list of things I've done in the past, could do again, as well as some new things and random thoughts to create laughter, perspective and a sense of well being for myself and those around me.  It's funny how just writing things down boosted my spirits. And when I actually did some of  them---Wowzy Zowzy!


[I apologize for the for the long list but I was on a roll ]

1. Find a way to make a friend, a family member, a co worker or a stranger feel like a million bucks today. It is the best way to get rich quick because you instantly feel like a million bucks yourself when you do.
2. Why not listen to some commercial free (almost) Christmas music here http://accuradio.com/holidays
3. Commit to hearty laughter at least once a day. Once you do that, make sure you help others do the same! Methinks we are taking ourselves way too seriously! I know I do at times.
4. Forgive someone.
5. Be a kid again. We won’t tell anyone!


6. Understand that other than the “5 Golden Rings” in The 12 Days of Christmas, someone basically cleaned out their attic and was trying to unload junk. I mean what am I supposed to do with a bunch of Lords a leaping? Just put them over there next to the swans a swimming, Cabin boy!
7. Sing along to a holiday song. Rinse and repeat!
8. Volunteer at the local shelter or senior home.

9. Take a coworker out to lunch or coffee . . . just because.
10. Between now and the end of the year include messages of hope and inspiration in your status updates.
11. Grab a hot chocolate or some spiked egg nog and look at some Christmas lights.
12. Give someone a few extra minutes of your time.
13. Take at least one opportunity to bite your tongue. (This one's tough for me)
14. Over tip someone who deserves it. (This one's easy)

15. Understand that laughing at the song “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” is sick. Would you really laugh if your Grandmother got run over by a reindeer? What’s next? Grandpa got burned to death roasting chestnuts over a raging fire.

16. Forgive your parents already. Like they didn’t forgive us for the stuff we pulled?
17. Evict negativity from your life. Seek out good. Its there! In the words of Dwitt Jones, "Celebrate What's Right with the World."

18. Give someone the gift of your undivided attention.
19. Tell a loved one how much they mean to you. Unfortunately, there’s an expiration date on this crazy thing we call life! And if by chance you lost that person . . . find a way to honor them!
20. Plan a family night.
21. Find something inspirational and then pass it to your network because quite frankly, we all need a shot in the arm from time to time.
22. Encourage someone. Its free.
23. Answer this question: What am I most grateful for? Take inventory and count the upside.

24. Stop striving for Norman Rockwell Christmas moments. Understand that the beauty of his art was in capturing the chaos and even celebrating it. Might be a lesson in that crazy thought.
25. Donate some food to the local food pantry. They get hit hard this time of year.



26. Change the words to one of your favorite holiday songs. Personally, I like singing “Walking in my winter wacky wear" (Like those embarrassing red sweat pants that only my dogs accept me in) to the tune of “Walking in a winter wonderland”.

27. Commit to wearing your spirit on your sleeve! As William James remarked, "Act as if your cheerful and you'll eventually feel cheerful."
28. Listen to the lyrics of “We wish you a Merry Christmas” and then ask yourself, What’s the deal with that Figgy Pudding and who the heck do they think they are threatening us that “We won’t go until we get some” I wish the person who wrote that song would have stepped back to realize that people are willing to get indignant over a Baileys or a bowl of Candy Cane Joe-Joe's and ice cream, but a figgy pudding? Don’t have any, but help yourself to those Lords a leapin over there instead skipper!

29. Sing a duet of “Baby its cold outside” and then realize that the cacophony that just occurred with your singing is precisely why you both need to keep working your day jobs.
30. Don't OD on the news. Take it in bite sized pieces. They make mega bucks with negativity . . . we don’t!
31. Find a way to create a memory and then visit that memory often! Someday we will refer to today as “The good old days” Make 'em count!
32. 101 Christmas Videos can be viewed online by clicking here
33. Go to a tree lighting, a children’s Christmas concert to get that hometown vibe going!
34. When you find yourself in an exceptionally good mood, don’t ever let anyone take your joy away from you.

35. Mend a fence. Lose the ego and repeat after me “I'm sorry” ( I know that phrase can stick in my craw sometimes). Try it and it will lighten your load.
36. Catch up with someone you lost touch with.
37. Let someone know they inspired you!
38. Let your spouse have the remote control for the entire night...or week. Yikes! I'm already getting the shakes just at the thought of it.

39. Go Elf yourself, your pet or a public figure.  http://www.elfyourself.com/

40. Watch It’s A Wonderful Life (again). The economy notwithstanding, we have have a pretty wonderful life!   This season reminds us what is really important -- the relationships we share.  It is those relationships that really make it a wonderful life.

I hope in some small way this list has brought a smile and kicked up the holiday vibe a notch.

Peter Mclees