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If one-on-ones are so valuable for leaders and team members alike, why does everyone seem to dread them?
Despite their potential, these meetings often feel like a box to check off rather than a real opportunity for connection.
If you find yourself dreading one-on-ones or leaving each meeting feeling deflated, you’re not alone.
The problem isn’t the concept of one-on-ones but how we approach them.
Effective meetings require more than showing up – they need meaningful design and facilitation.
One-on-ones have a bad reputation. Many view them as awkward or unproductive –just another meeting on an already packed agenda. Yet, they are critical to your team’s success.
When done right, one-on-one meetings can be game-changers for both leaders and team members. They provide a unique opportunity for genuine conversations. While email, Slack, or Zoom keep everyone in the loop, nothing replaces the value of direct, personal interactions.
However, great one-on-ones require more than just a quick touch base. They provide a chance to tackle bigger issues beyond regular updates.
Whether you’re looking to build trust, address roadblocks, or improve relationships, here’s how to transform your one-on-ones from a mundane task into a highlight of the workweek.
Key Benefits of One-on-One Meetings
Regular one-on-ones create a space for real connection and problem solving. They offer an opportunity to surface issues, promote dialogue between managers and employees, and focus on the big picture, providing perspective beyond day-to-day tasks.
A Gallup study revealed that employees who have regular one-on-one meetings with their managers are three times as likely to be engaged in their work. Here are some of the key benefits:
Get personal time
In a group setting, conversations can easily veer off track or get monopolized by a few voices. One-on-ones create a dedicated time to check in on specific progress, challenges, and needs – efficiently and directly. It’s a great way to identify bad habits before they become harmful.
Build trust
One-on-one meetings play a powerful role in improving personal relationships. Giving someone your full attention, even for 30 minutes, shows that you value them. This intimate environment provides a safe space to discuss career growth, performance challenges, or personal issues without the pressure of an audience.
Address roadblocks
One of the key responsibilities of a manager is to remove unnecessary roadblocks so people can focus on doing their work instead of fighting bureaucracy. Casual, frequent check-ins allow employees to raise things that are getting in their way rather than struggle alone in silence.
Encourage problem solving
When leaders encourage team members to voice challenges openly, they cultivate a culture where problems are surfaced early and tackled together. This approach helps address the root cause and not just the symptoms.
By inviting people to brainstorm solutions, managers become helpful partners rather than mere supervisors.
Keep remote workers connected
For remote or hybrid teams, regular check-ins are even more essential to increase a sense of belonging. Frequent one-on-ones help counter feelings of isolation, keeping team members engaged and aligned no matter where they’re working from.
Provide regular feedback
One-on-ones are perfect for giving timely, actionable feedback, allowing managers to address events soon after they happen. Because they are private and timely, providing constructive feedback feels less intimidating. In a safe environment, employees speak up more and can make adjustments immediately rather than waiting for their annual performance review.
In short, one-on-ones aren’t just about tracking status; they’re about creating a foundation for trust, growth, and effective collaboration.
Design Effective One-on-One Meetings
Effective one-on-ones go beyond simply scheduling time on the calendar – they require intentional design. To make these meetings truly valuable, focus on the following key elements:
1. Establish ground rules
Whether you’re starting with one-on-ones or refining your approach, clarify your expectations and ground rules.
Explain the purpose of one-on-ones and how they will work, then address any questions from the team. Most importantly, emphasize that these are coaching sessions rather than reporting ones. The goal is not to control progress or micromanage people but to remove obstacles and support individual growth.
2. Reduce meeting anxiety
49% of team members feel anxious before one-on-one meetings with their manager – largely because they don’t know what to expect. To alleviate this, set clear expectations. Emphasize that it’s the employee’s time and meeting. Their needs, not hidden agendas, should drive the conversation. Additionally, defining the key theme or topic beforehand can significantly reduce anxiety.
3. Set a consistent cadence
Research shows that employees who have regular one-on-ones feel less anxious and more successful in their roles. Ideally, meet with each of your direct reports once a week for 30 minutes. The second-best scenario is to meet every other week.
A regular cadence sets a rhythm that both you and your team members can count on.
4. Be flexible
Having an agenda is essential. However, tailor each meeting’s purpose instead of sticking to a rigid outline. One-on-ones aren’t one-size-fits-all, and each team member has unique needs and challenges that vary from week to week.
Some people may want to focus on career development, while others might need support solving specific challenges. Start each conversation by asking, “What’s the main topic you’d like to address today?”
5. Focus on outcomes
Avoid approaching the meeting with a rigid agenda or focusing solely on tasks. Questions like “Are you making progress with project Y?” might come across like a status report rather than a meaningful conversation.
Instead, discuss desired results and goals related to the project. One-on-ones should center on “How can we achieve the desired outcomes?” rather than simply reviewing milestones. This approach encourages a more strategic and impact-oriented conversation.
Facilitate Meaningful One-on-One Conversations
The true value of one-on-ones lies in their execution. Consider the following tips to facilitate conversations that are meaningful and impactful:
Be fully present
This sounds simple, but it’s incredibly powerful. Close your laptop, silence your notifications, and give your team member your undivided attention. This signals that you’re actively listening, not just checking off another task.
Being fully present also lets you pick up on subtle cues and gain a deeper understanding.
Listen, listen, listen
Research indicates that a key indicator of a successful one-on-one is the proportion of time the employee spends talking. Strive for them to speak for at least 50% of the time spent talking.
Ask open-ended questions, let them elaborate, and resist the urge to jump in too quickly with solutions. This approach ensures they feel heard and encourages more open discussions.
Cover critical topics
To maximize the value of your one-on-ones, focus on six key areas: Personal Check-In, Goals and Aspirations, Alignment, Progress, Collaboration, and Next Steps. This framework helps both you and your team members prepare for meaningful conversations and concentrate on what’s most relevant at the time.
Consider this a flexible guide, not a rigid checklist. While Personal Check-In and Next Steps should bookend every one-on-one, other sections – like Goals and Aspirations or Progress – can be addressed as needed.
Use meaningful questions
Thoughtful, open-ended questions can turn a one-on-one from a routine check-in into a deeper conversation. Questions like, “What’s one area where you’d like to see more momentum?” or “If you could change one thing about your role, what would it be?” spark more meaningful conversations.
Rather than asking about updates or milestones, provoke reflection. Encourage your team member to think critically about their experiences, goals, and challenges.
Follow up
A one-on-one doesn’t end when you leave the room (or virtual call) – it’s just another step. Capture action items and follow-up agreements. Be sure to check in with team members before you next touch base.
Following through on what you discussed reinforces the value of one-on-ones and increases accountability. It shows that these conversations truly matter and have a real impact.
Intentional design and facilitation can transform one-on-ones into powerful conversations, making team members feel supported. Far from being just another routine meeting, they provide valuable opportunities to connect, align, and grow together.
By asking thoughtful questions, adapting to each team member’s unique needs, and using time wisely, one-on-ones become essential for building trust and accelerating collaboration.
Done well, they can evolve from a mandatory meeting into a highlight of the workweek.
Peter Mclees, Leadership Coach, Trainer and Performance Consultant
SMART DEVELOPMENT
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