The Leadership "Super Skill" of the 21st Century

    

 

 

 

 

 "The first person you lead is yourself."  

                                      --Epictetus of Hierapolis, 95 AD

Self-awareness is the leadership "super skill" or meta-skill of the twenty-first century. Skills are temporary; meta-skills are permanent higher order capabilities. Skills are temporary because they are learned and developed, and therefore can be forgotten and refreshed. 

By contrast, a meta-skill is a permanent part of you that enables you to achieve things. Learning a second language or how to code constitutes a skill. A meta-skill, on the other hand, is your ability to learn new languages. Once you’ve developed that meta-skill, it becomes easier to learn a third or a fourth tongue.

Why is self-awareness the meta-skill of this age? Because qualities that are most critical for success in today’s world —things like emotional intelligence, empathy, influence, persuasion, communication, and collaboration—all stem from self-awareness.

Self-awareness is the ability to see ourselves clearly—to understand who we are, how others see us, and how we fit into the world.

Our self-awareness sets the upper limit for the skills that make us stronger team players, superior leaders, and better relationship builders. And here, even small gains in self-awareness can have a big payoff.
 
Internal self-awareness has to do with seeing yourself clearly. It’s an inward understanding of your values, passions, aspirations, ideal environment, patterns, reactions, and impact on others.

External self-awareness is about understanding yourself from the outside in—that is, knowing how other people see you.Now, it’s easy to assume that someone who is internally self-aware would also be externally self-aware—that being in touch with our feelings and emotions helps us tune in to how we’re seen. But strangely, research (mine and others’) has often shown no relationship between them—and some studies have even shown an inverse one! 

You probably know someone who loves to gaze at their own navel but has precious little understanding of the way they’re coming across. The other side of the coin is also dangerous. Being too fixated on how we appear to others can prevent us from making choices in service of our own happiness and success. The bottom line is that to become truly self-aware, you have to understand yourself and how others see you—and what’s more, the path to get there is very, very different than what most people believe. But if this sounds intimidating or untenable, there is good news. Research has shown that self-awareness is a surprisingly developable skill.

Self-aware people possess seven distinct types of insight that unaware people didn’t. They understood their values (the principles that guide them), passions (what they love to do), aspirations (what they want to experience and achieve), fit (the environment they require to be happy, energized, and engaged), patterns (consistent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving), reactions (the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that reveal their strengths and weaknesses), and impact (the effect they have on others).

The key skill we must develop to read our impact is perspective-taking, or the ability to imagine what others are thinking and feeling (this is different from empathy, which involves actually experiencing others’ emotions).
 
Let’s pretend that internal and external self-awareness are hydrogen and oxygen, two of the most well-known elements on the periodic table. On its own, hydrogen is dangerous because it spontaneously ignites. (Remember the Hindenburg?) And though oxygen is not flammable by itself, in excess, it causes many things to burn more easily. But when you combine hydrogen and oxygen in the right proportions, the two elements unite to create life-sustaining water.

Self-awareness is a bit like that: when we couple a clear perspective on ourselves with the ability to abandon that perspective and see ourselves as others do, this magical combination is a powerful force for realizing the next best version of ourselves.

Self-awareness has a more positive impact on leadership than an MBA. Studies show that self-awareness encourages us to lead ourselves with authenticity and integrity — and in turn, better lead others.

Teams with high self-awareness make better decisions, interact better with each other, and manage tensions and conflicts more effectively.

The problem is that self-awareness is a scarce meta-skill. According to self-awareness expert Dr. Tasha Eurich, 90% of people believe they are self-aware but only 15% of them actually are. This gap is the base of most problems in the workplace — blind spots are the elephant in the room.  

Here are some things to can do (or do more frequently) to build your self-awareness muscle and illuminate your blind spots.

5 Tips for Building Self-Awareness 

1. Look at yourself objectively.

Trying to see yourself as you really are can be a very difficult process, but if you make the right efforts, getting to know your real self can be extremely rewarding. When you are able to see yourself objectively, you can learn how to accept yourself and find ways to improve yourself in the future.

2. Perform daily self-reflection.

In order to have self-awareness, you must do self-reflection. This requires setting aside some time, hopefully every day, to honestly look at yourself as a person and a leader. Committing to this practice can help you improve.

In our demanding business world, daily self-reflection is easier said than done. There is always pressure to do more with less, and an endless flow of information through our portable technology.

Because it takes time to self-reflect, start by setting aside just 15 minutes each day. Self-reflection is most effective when you use a journal and write down your thoughts. It’s also best to find a quiet place to think.

3. Take personality and psychometric tests.

Take these personality and psychometric tests to help understand what traits you have. Some popular tests that are aimed at increasing self-awareness include the Myers-Briggs test and the Predictive Index.

There are no right or wrong answers to these tests. Instead, they compel respondents to think about a set of traits or characteristics that closely describe them relative to other people.

4. Ask trusted friends to describe you.

How are we supposed to know what other people think of us? We have to listen to the feedback of our peers and mentors, and let them play the role of an honest mirror. Tell your friends when you are looking for open, honest, critical, and objective perspectives. Allow your friends to feel safe while they are giving you an informal yet honest view.

Make sure your friends know that they are doing this to help you, not to hurt you. Also, feel free to ask questions of your friends about topics they bring up if you feel like you need some more clarity to completely understand.

You can also ask friends to bring it to your attention when you are doing something that you know you want to change. For example, if you know you tend to “one-up” people when they are telling stories, have your friends discreetly let you know that is happening so you can learn to stop.

Ask your friends to give you an honest evaluation of what they think about you. | Image of spending time with friends Ask trusted friends to describe you. Allow your friends to feel safe while they are giving you an informal yet honest view. 

5. Ask for feedback at work.

In addition to consulting friends and family, use a more formal process at work to get some feedback. If your company does not provide a structured way to do this, try to implement one. Provided it is constructive and well done, having an option for formalized feedback allows us to self-reflect on our own strengths and development opportunities.

To have an effective formal feedback system at work, you need a proper process and an effective manager. Once the feedback process is finished, it is important to reflect on it by writing down your main takeaways. Write down any surprising strengths and opportunities that you did not realize you had before.

Building the necessary habits to help you become more self-aware will help you thrive as a person and by extension a leader in the 21st Century.

To your greater success and fulfillment,

Peter Mclees, Leadership Coach, Trainer and Performance Consultant
SMART DEVELOPMENT

 

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Having worked with several companies throughout their growth cycle, we have valuable insights and strategies that would help any late stage startup, small or medium sized company achieve sustained growth and prosperity.