Why Leaders Must Give Up Control to Gain Influence

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is the difference between control and influence? How do the differences between these two words affect the way you empower the people that you lead? And does the difference really matter in your life as a leader?

To answer these questions, let’s start by taking a closer look at the definitions of control and influence. According to Dictionary.com, the primary definition of each word is

❍  Control—to exercise restraint or direction over; dominate; command.
❍  Influence—the capacity or power of persons or things to be a compelling force on or produce effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of others.

Notice that control is direct—you can control the things that you can make happen without the cooperation of others.

Influence, on the other hand, is more indirect. It begins with you and your behaviors, and then it extends to other people. Once other people are involved, you need their cooperation. In other words, you cannot directly ‘‘produce effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of others.’’ Their actions, behavior, and opinions are their choice. To expand this idea, consider a concept that comes from The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. In this classic self-improvement text, Covey writes about what he calls the Circle of Concern and the Circle of Influence. For my purposes, I will modify the description slightly to speak specifically to people who work as leaders.
 

In a very broad sense, everything in your role as a leader fits into three categories.

 There are things you can

1.    Control (your personal circle of control)
2.   Influence (your personal circle of influence)
3.   Neither influence nor control (Concern or everything else)

The things that fall within your circle of control are those things that you can make happen without the cooperation of others. Your circle of control includes your own words and actions. There might also be some work rules and other procedural items that you can control, and that’s it.

Your circle of influence includes things outside of your direct control that you can cause to happen through the help and cooperation of others. This list includes their words, actions, motivations, and desires. Everything about other people is outside your circle of control.

You can influence other people. You cannot control them.

As a leader, the difference between control and influence is a critical concept to grasp. You will be responsible for the results of your team.

You will be responsible for influencing their behaviors to get tasks accomplished. And you cannot control them.
 

I often get questions like

❍    ‘‘How do I get my team to?’’ or
❍    ‘‘How do I make my team members do?’’

The intent behind these questions often stems from the leader’s desire to get results and to make things happen. I see no problem with the desired goal in asking the questions. I do see a problem with how they are phrased and the assumptions implied. The problem is that they are control questions rather than influence questions. By the way the questions are asked, the person asking them is asking how he or she can control another person.
I suggest rephrasing the questions above to something like this:

❍    ‘‘How do I change my words and behaviors so that I communicate with my team more effectively?’’ or
❍    ‘‘What can I do to create an environment where my team members want to do?’’

Rephrasing the questions in this way shifts the focus away from controlling others toward controlling   your own words and actions so that you can gain greater influence with them. This shift in focus helps you concentrate your energy and efforts where they have the greatest impact.

Attempting to control something that is outside your circle of control is usually frustrating, tiring, and ineffective. When you realize that something lies in your circle of influence rather than in your circle of control, you will begin to look for different, more effective strategies and tactics. You will waste less time and energy on activities that simply do not matter and will not have a positive impact on your results.

Likewise, realizing that an issue lies outside your circle of influence, in the Circle of Concern or everything else category, frees you to not worry about it or to waste energy on attempting to change it.
 

For example, most company policies and procedures lie outside the circle of influence for front-line leaders. If you are a front-line leader and you invest time, effort, and energy into discussing these issues beyond casual conversation, you are wasting your time, effort, and energy. Rather than worry about, complain about, or discuss these items, focus that energy on what you can control (your words and actions) and where you can have influence (the people with whom you have a direct relationship). 

SMART Principle: Control what you can. Influence who you can.

 

To your greater success and fulfillment,

Peter Mclees, Leadership Coach, Trainer and Performance Consultant
SMART DEVELOPMENT

 

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