How to Transform Your Life During Uncertain Times

 

A mentor of mine has been following a disciplined meditation practice for more than 5 years. He says it helps him stay calm, clear and focused on the present moment.

It shows. Although he has a mountain of responsibilities, I’ve never seen him looking harried, tense or anxious.

Perhaps he’s onto something.

After all, the present moment is all we have. There was never a time when your life wasn’t not now, nor will there ever be. Your life is and always be “this moment.”

The odd thing about this realization is that it is both bone-crushingly obvious and, at the same time, seldom acknowledged.

Each day we’re caught up in our own personal dramas. We struggle to meet the deadline, finish the project, make the appointment, pick up the kids, drop off the car, stop at the bank, visit the folks, plan the dinner…driving around, we are swept up in the recollections of the past or, more likely, endless planning and worrying about the future.

By living in a state of distraction, we deny ourselves the only time we have to be fully present. Right now.

Trust me, you cannot savor your Asian chicken salad with the water chestnuts and sliced tangerines if you’re worrying about next week’s budget meeting. Nor can you enjoy your afternoon by the lake with your grandson if you’re talking on your device or fuming about something you saw on a news feed.

You can only appreciate the good things in your life when you’re fully present. Doing this allows you to minimize your negatives, too.

All of us face situations that are depressing, frustrating, or maddening. Yet, more often than not, our anxieties are the result of our own faulty thinking. It may be tough to admit, but it is our mindset—rather than the situation itself—that creates the negative emotions.

As Shakespeare wrote, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking make it so.” Truly, it is our thoughts that torment us, not our problems.

Some may disagree. After all if you have a child with a serious drug addiction or a parent that is dying of cancer, the problem isn’t in your mind. It’s real.

But there are only two kinds of bad situations in the world: those that can be solved and those that can’t. If you have a situation that can be solved, get busy fixing it. If you have one that can’t, get busy accepting it.

After all, your thoughts determine your happiness. The good news is that you can control them. That’s the power behind Reinhold Niebuhr’s well-known Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can; and Wisdom to know the difference.

Incidentally, while Niebuhr wrote this prayer roughly 70 years ago, there is an Irish rhyme dating back to 1695 that expresses a remarkably similar sentiment:

For every ailment under the sun,

There is a remedy, or there is none:

If there be one, try to find it;

If there be none, never mind it.

But when something truly sad or tragic happens, how do you keep from minding it? There is no easy answer to this one. Some wounds only time can heal. But returning to the present moment can help.

As Eckhart Tolle wrote in The Power of Now, “Narrow your life down to this moment. Your life situation may be full of problems—most life situations are—but find out if you have any problem at this moment. Not tomorrow or in ten minutes, but now. Do you have a problem now?”

Tolle says it’s impossible to feel troubled when your attention is full in the Now. You have situations that need to be dealt with or accepted—yes. But only worries about the future or regrets about the past can turn into personal quagmires.

Skeptics may argue that altering your thinking doesn’t change the problem, just your perception of it. But that’s the magic of it. Higher awareness is often that prelude to a solution.

Tolle says, “Accept—then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept is as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, no against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.”

How do you get started? Ironically, by becoming conscious of your lack of consciousness—something the majority of us never do—you take the first step toward an elevated state of mind. Your ability to enjoy your life, and deal successfully with your problems, increases the moment you become fully present.

Beware though. Living in the present moment means abandoning your old ways of thinking. In the present moment there is no judging, cherishing your opinions, or nurturing discontent.

It means slowing down. Relaxing. Focusing on your breath. Listening to the breeze. Or just taking a good look around.

You have the opportunity to enhance your life simply by choosing where to direct your attention. Where should that be?

Right here. Right now.

“The past is history, the future’s a mystery, today’s a gift, that’s why it’s called the present.”

Check out a related post: Sage Advice from a 2,000 Year Old Slave

To your greater success and fulfillment,

Peter C. McLees

Leadership Coach, Trainer and Performance Consultant

Mobile: 323-854-1713

Email: petercmclees@gmail.com