26 Ways to Savor Life in 2020

When we get older we start to see the reality of life's fleeting nature. We can use this knowledge as an opportunity to see each day, each moment as a golden opportunity for enjoyment, happiness, and love.

If we live to age 90, from birth to death we have 32,850 days on Earth. Our Earth has been around 4.55 billion years. Our life here is just a blip.

This awareness provokes a lot of soul searching for many of us. We have thought, read and studied a lot about what comprises a happy life and have determined five areas that are key to enjoying life to the fullest.

1. Living in integrity. This is something you must define yourself by creating your own personal operating system. But in general it includes living in alignment with your values and your personal/religious beliefs; being authentic and honest with yourself and others; and living in balance financially.

2. Making a contribution. Whether through our work or otherwise, we all need to feel we have a purpose and have made some mark on the world. We need to feel that our lives have some intrinsic meaning. Having a passion and sharing it with the world provides tremendous joy and fulfillment.

3. Having good relationships. We need loving, supportive, and healthy relationships with romantic partners, family, friends, and co- workers. We certainly know the impact of bad relationships. Good ones offer us joy, contentment, and connectedness.

4. Being healthy. When we feel good physically, we feel good mentally and emotionally. We we feel bad physically, we feel bad all over. It is hard to enjoy life when your physical health is poor.

5. Having pleasure. There are so many things in this big world to enjoy--more than we could ever experience in one lifetime. If we are living in the framework our integrity, then pleasurable experiences should be pursued and enjoyed regularly--without guilt. Having fun is essential to savoring life.

As you examine these five areas in your own life, remember that first defining your integrity and creating your own personal operating system will make it far easier to define the other four areas. When we live outside of our integrity, it casts a shadow over all other areas of our lives.

Here are 26 ideas for savoring life and living it to the fullest in these five critical areas:

1. Define or refine your values and personal operating system. Know what is important to you, and seek to live in accordance with that.

2. Restore your integrity wherever you have stepped out of it. Make amends, correct the situation, shift the balance. This will reduce agitation and guilt.

3. Be true to yourself. Be authentic. Look for ways that you are pretending, acting to impress, or living out some other person's expectations rather than your own.

4. Examine your job. You spend many hours a day in this job. If you don't love it, or at least like it, you are frittering away a good chunk of your life. This is imperative for a happy life. Take control of your career.

5. Know your passions. If you don't know what you are passionate about, find out. Take the time to do this, and then find a way to regularly incorporate your passion into your daily life. Discovering your passion dramatically increases happiness.

6. Give to others daily. Share your knowledge, passions, skills, and time with someone else on a regular basis. This doesn't require a grand gesture. Impacting one life can make a huge ripple on the world. It feels good.

7. Show kindness. In the smallest interactions, be kind. Choose kindness over being right, indignant, smarter, richer, or too busy. Kindness feels good to you and to the recipient. And it's infectious.

8. Release some stuff. If you have loads of material things that you don't use, release them. Give them away to someone who can use them. This is tremendously satisfying.

9. Release some money. If you have plenty of money, use it for good. Contribute it in a way that makes one person or the whole world a better place.

10. Just listen. Listen to someone's story, their pain, their joyful event, their boring anecdote, their fears. Give someone the gift of really hearing them.

11. Nurture your friendships. Be the initiator. Express your feelings for them. Learn more about your friends. Be there for good and bad times.

12. Be the person you want in others. Define what you want in a relationship, then be that person yourself. Like attracts like.

13. Let it go. Be quick to forgive and quick to forget. Holding grudges and nurturing old wounds is unhealthy and makes you unhappy.

14. Know when to let go. However, some relationships can pull you down. Take a look at those in your life. Is it time to let go? How much energy are you giving away to them?

15. Expand your network. Actively meet new people. They can enhance your life, introduce you to new ideas, pleasures, and other new friends.

16. Love yourself. A healthy love for yourself with healthy self-confidence creates healthy relationships.

17. Communicate often. We so often misunderstand and misinterpret one another. Or we say things we don't really mean. Learn healthy communication skills and use them often, particularly in your primary relationship.

18. Educate yourself on nutrition. Read books, blogs, or magazines about proper eating for good health. Then eat that way. If you are unhealthy, it will undermine your happiness in all areas of your life.

19. Go outside every day. Sunlight boosts your mood and provides vitamin D. Being in nature enlivens your soul and makes you feel connected to the world around you.

20. Get moving. You know this. Get some exercise. Walk, bike, run, swim, dance, stretch, lift weights. You can make it fun. Take care of this remarkable house for your soul.

21. Cut back, simplify, reduce stress. Find balance in your life by letting some things go. You can't do or be everything. Pick a few things, and enjoy them fully. Identify where you are stressed, and deal with it.

22. Find an outlet. There are difficult times in every life. Find someone, a professional coach, counselor, minister, or friend, who can help you through them. Talking about your problems with someone trusted helps you heal and cope and stay mentally and emotionally healthy.

23. Play often. Play shouldn't end at childhood. Have fun regularly. Define what is fun for you and go do it every week.

24. Increase your travel (Local or abroad). The world truly is your oyster. There is so much to explore and see and enjoy. Pick some places that intrigue you. Save your money. Plan some trips.

25. Unplug. Television and computer have pulled us away from real living. Actively reduce the amount of time you spend in front of them. Fill that time with pleasurable activities instead. Read, cook, play a sport, meet with friends, do something creative, make love, meditate, go to the theater, look at the stars, chop wood, carry water.

26. Think less. Be more. Act more. Negative thoughts create negative feelings. Actively seek to stop negative thinking, and just be in the moment. If negative thoughts and feelings are getting intrusive, do something distracting.

Imagine starting your year that way!

Pick one of the activities above and savor it.

It takes thought, planning, and a dose of wisdom to create a happy life--a life that you can savor. Experience teaches us these lessons, and wisdom helps us to embrace them.

To your greater fulfillment and success,

Peter Mclees, Leadership Coach, Facilitator and Performance Consultant

SMART DEVELOPMENT
Email: petercmclees@gmail.com  
Mobile: 323-855-1713

Smart Development has an exceptional track record helping service providers, ports, sales teams, restaurants, stores, branches, distribution centers, food production facilities, nonprofits, government agencies and other businesses create a strong culture, leadership bench strength, coaching skills and the teamwork necessary for growth. 

Having worked with several companies throughout their growth cycle, we have valuable insights and strategies that would help any late stage startup, small or medium sized company achieve sustained growth and prosperity.

Sage Advice from a 2,000 Year Old Slave

"The first person you lead is yourself."  
                                                                                   
                                     -Epictetus of  Hierapolis  55 to 135 C.E.

Greetings of the Season!

Standing in line at the register the other day in Vancouver, WA,  I couldn’t help overhearing the women on her cell phone in front of me.

Her mother was mean to her. Her employer didn’t appreciate her. Her kids disrespected her. 

She exuded a "Ba Humbug!" vibe. (Scrooge would have been proud.)

By the time she was done, I could have sworn I heard the sun was too bright outside and the birds were singing too loud.

Some things never change…

If a citizen of ancient Greece or Rome were magically transported into the modern era, he would be astounded by the current state of agriculture, transportation, housing, medicine, architecture, technology, and living standards.

But humanity itself would offer few surprises. We remain the same flawed human beings we always were, struggling with the same human faults our ancestors wrestled with millennia ago.

That is why ancient philosophers still speak to us—if we listen. The wisdom of the classical world transcends place and time.

The Stoic philosophy, for example, dominated the ancient world for nearly 600 years, beginning in the late 4^th century B.C.E.

Stoics believed that reason was supreme. Tranquility is only achieved, they taught, by suppressing irrational emotions—like regrets about the past—and accepting life’s unavoidable disappointments and setbacks.

One of the great exponents of Stoicism was a slave named Epictetus, born around 55 C.E. in the eastern outreaches of the Roman Empire.

Epictetus had few advantages in life. Aside from being born into slavery, he had a permanent physical disability. And he was poor, living a simple life in a small hut with no possessions.

Yet he became one of the leading thinkers of his age. When Epictetus was freed from slavery—we still don’t know how—he set up a philosophical school on the northwest coast of Greece, spending his days lecturing on how to live with dignity and tranquility.

As his reputation for wisdom grew, people flocked to hear him. One of his most distinguished students was the young Marcus Aurelius Antonius, who became ruler of the Roman Empire.

Epictetus was not one for airy theories. In his view, the job of philosophy is to help ordinary people deal with the challenges of everyday life. And his words, captured in a great book, The Art of Living, are a wise today as when he spoke them nearly 2,000 years ago:

“Keep your attention focused entirely on what is truly you own concern, and be clear that what belongs to others is their business and none of yours. (Today's version is "stay in your lane.")

One of the clearest marks of the moral life is right speech….Glib talk disrespects others. Breezy self-disclosure disrespects yourself….If need be, be mostly silent or speak sparingly.

Let the quality of your deeds speak on your behalf. We can’t control the impressions others from about us, and the effort to do so debases our character. So, if anyone should tell you that a particular person has spoken critically of you, don’t bother with excuses of defenses. Just smile and reply, I guess that person doesn’t know about all my other faults. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have mentioned only these.”

Now is the time to get serious about living your ideals. Once you have determined the spiritual principles you wish to exemplify, abide by these rules as if they were laws.”

Epictetus had a deep understanding of human beings, of society…and of life. But he also understood death, too.

“I must die. If the time is now, I’m ready…How will I die? Like a man who gives up what belongs to another….A good death can only come from a good life.”

Epictetus argued that our prime motivation should be inner achievements, not outer ones. The right attitudes and values allow you to flourish no matter what the external world throws at you. Inner achievement lays the foundation for peace, tranquility, and personal freedom. And so he taught that true success comes from focusing ourselves within:

“We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose to respond to them.

“If someone irritates you, it is only your own response that is irritating you. Therefore, when anyone seems to be provoking you, remember that it is only your judgment of the incident that provokes you.”

“Those who are dedicated to a life of wisdom understand that the impulse to blame something or someone is foolishness, that there is nothing to be gained in blaming, whether if be others or oneself.”

“

If anyone is unhappy, remember that his unhappiness is his own doing…Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility except our own opinion.”

“He is wise who doesn’t grieve for the things he doesn’t have, but rejoices for the things he does have.”

“Fortify yourself with contentment, for it is an impregnable fortress.

Whether you are janitor or a CEO, Epictetus insists that your main job in life---your most important work---is improving yourself. Yet, always a realist, he emphasized moral progress over moral perfection.

Today Epictetus is widely recognized as the world’s first philosopher of personal freedom (Viktor Frankl picks up on the theme in Man’s Search for Meaning). Its attainment, he insisted, is the result of mastering our thoughts, yielding to the inevitable, pursuing virtue rather than wealth and diverting our attention from constant desire, yearning and attachment.

In a modern translation of the Art of Living, philosophical writer Sharon Lebell observes that, “His was a moral teaching stripped of sentimentality, piousness, a and metaphysical mumbo-jumbo. What remains is the West’s first and best primer for living the best possible life.”

Ironic, isn’t it? A man born into slavery was among the first to show us a path to personal liberation.

“Anyone is free who lives as he wishes to live,” said Epictetus. “And no one is free who is not master of himself.”

In the words of another Stoic, Seneca:

“As long as you live, keep learning how to live.”

To Your Greater Success and Fullfillment

Peter C Mclees, Principal

Leadership Coach, Trainer and Performance Consultant

Mobile: 323-854-1713

Email: petercmclees@gmail.com

We help organizations and leaders accelerate their results. 

Winning by Giving: Succeeding Through Kindness

Explore the benefits of "giving" in the workplace.

When I chased after money, I never had enough. When I got my life on purpose and focused on giving of myself and everything that arrived into my life, then I was prosperous.

  – Wayne Dyer, author and speaker

When we're at work, we can spend a lot of energy trying to get help from those around us. However, how much time do we spend helping others in return?

Having a strong social support network at work raises morale, productivity, and overall success. If we truly want to succeed, however, each of us must spend time "giving ourselves" to those in our network. Only then will we experience the true benefits that giving brings, and start to see the success we've dreamed of.

Benefits of Giving

Giving makes us happy. The happier we are, the more energy we have, the better we think, and the more friendships we develop. Giving not only feels good, but research shows that it lowers your chance of depression, strengthens your heart, lowers stress, and can literally add years to your life. Giving — whether it be leaving a small note for a loved one, being of service to a neighbor, or donating to a charity — causes us to step outside of our own troubles and think about the bigger picture and how we fit into it. As such, giving is an important way to better society while also tapping into our own best selves.

Professionally, giving also offers several benefits. One study found that fostering positive social support at work raises productivity. Another study found that those who give at work ("work altruists"), are far more engaged with what they do and are more often promoted, compared with colleagues who stay isolated while doing their job.

However, you probably don't need research to tell you that giving makes you feel good! Just think back to the last time you helped a colleague who was stuck with a problem, or took your assistant out to lunch. Giving boosts our energy in a way that nothing else can. We feel connected and engaged when we help others, because it reminds us of what it means to be human, at its best.

All this, in turn, comes back to us in ways we could never expect or predict. Giving creates a network of trust, goodwill, and good energy at work that can pay off many times over in the future.

 

Giving and kindness also have an important ripple effect, which is why one generous person can transform a team or an organization. The person you give to feels great about the help they received. This can create a desire in them to "pay back" that kindness to someone else. Much like ripples in a pond, one act of kindness can impact dozens, or even hundreds, of lives.

How to Give More

The good news about giving is that you don't need to invest huge chunks of your time to do it. Often, the smallest acts of kindness and consideration can have a big impact on those around us.

So, how can we give at work?

1. Just Listen

A great way of giving is simply to listen to others. When you do this, listen without contributing your opinion, and without trying to "top their story." Use Active Listening skills, so that you can fully grasp what they're telling you, and respond with empathy and understanding.

2. Offer Specific Help

How many times have you heard a colleague say, "Let me know if you need any help!" but had the distinct feeling they didn't really mean it? Vague offers of help can come across as half-hearted or insincere. Offering help in a specific way shows that you mean it.

For instance, your colleagues may be complaining about their workload. So, offer specific help: volunteer to collect their lunch for them, so that they can continue working, or give them a hand with a task if your own workload allows. When you offer specific assistance, you let others know that you're truly willing to help.

3. Show Gratitude

If you're in a leadership position, how often do you give praise to your team? How often do you say "thank you" to your assistant for the good work he or she does every day?

Showing gratitude to those around us, whether above or below us in the hierarchy, is a simple but powerful way to give. So, find ways to say "thank you"  to your team and colleagues. You might be surprised at the difference that this makes to your relationships!

4. Become a True Mentor

When you mentor others, you can share a lifetime's worth of knowledge and skill in order to help them succeed. This unselfish act not only benefits the professionals you work with; it can change your own life in many ways.

It probably goes without saying that your organization will benefit when strong mentoring relationships are formed within it. Start mentoring in the workplace now, and experience the satisfaction that comes with helping others to succeed.

5. Share Resources

If your team or department has ample resources or supplies, why not offer to share them with another team or department, particularly if it is not as well funded as yours?

This could include sharing resources such as physical supplies, but also knowledge, technology, and team member expertise as well. (This won't be viable in some situations. Use your own best judgment here, and make sure that you're doing your own job properly as well!)

6. Offer a Hand to New Employees

Can you remember what it was like on your very first day at the organization? You didn't know anyone, and you probably felt overwhelmed by all of your tasks and responsibilities.

When a new employee joins your organization or team, spend time with her during her first few weeks and help her have a successful induction. Offer to help her get used to her new role, and take her around to meet everyone that she'll be working with. Share your knowledge about the organization's culture and values.

This can make a challenging transition smoother and less stressful.

 

7. Practice "Random Acts of Kindness"

Random acts of kindness can transform both you and the person you help. When you are kind to someone anonymously, you give for the simple, ego-less pleasure of giving, and that's it. So, practice random acts of kindness when you're at work.

What can you do? Leave a cup of gourmet coffee on your colleague's desk when he or she is having a bad day. Send an anonymous "thank you" letter to your organization's cleaning staff. Bring some healthy snacks or homemade cookies to work, and leave them anonymously in the break room, with a note letting others know that they're for everyone.

There are endless ways that you can make a positive impact on someone else's day. Just use your imagination!

8. Find Your Purpose

Every job has a purpose. It's easy, especially when we're busy and stressed, to forget how our role helps others. But, no matter what we do or where we do it, ultimately our work should benefit someone else.

Take time to find your purpose at work. Once you dig down to find the ultimate meaning of what you do, you may be surprised by how much your work helps others.

"There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up."  — John Holmes, military veteran and author

Note:

Although it's important to give your time and energy to others, it's equally important not to go too far! If you spend too much time helping your coworkers, you may find that you don't have time to accomplish your own objectives. It's important to find the right balance between helping others, and focusing on your own goals and tasks.

Key Points

Giving our time and energy to others not only feels good, but it's been proven to make us happier, more productive, and more engaged with our team and organization.

Giving also offers positive physical benefits as well: it helps alleviate stress, helps lower our risk of illnesses like depression, and even helps us live longer!

You can give back to others by doing any or all of the following:

1.               Just listen to others.

2.               Offer specific help.

3.               Show gratitude.

4.               Become a mentor.

5.               Share resources.

6.               Offer a hand to new employees.

7.               Practice random acts of kindness.

8.               Find your purpose.

Make an effort to give regularly – you'll love the results.

 

To your greater success and fulfillment.

Peter Mclees, Leadership Coach, Trainer and Performance Consultant

SMART DEVELOPMENT

Email: petercmclees@gmail.com  or  Mobile:323-854-1713

Smart Development has an exceptional track record helping service providers, ports, sales teams, restaurants, stores, distribution centers, food production facilities, nonprofits, government agencies and other businesses create a strong culture, leadership bench strength, coaching skills and the teamwork necessary for growth.

Having worked with several companies throughout their growth cycle, we have valuable insights and strategies that would help any late stage startup, small or medium sized company achieve sustained growth and prosperity.

 

Thanksliving: Practicing an Attitude of Perpetual Gratitude

It's been said that life is a good news, bad news proposition. The good news is that life's challenges help us grow. The bad news is that there is more good news coming!

In his book Discovering the Laws of Life, the famed money manager and philanthropist John Tempelton coined the word “Thanksliving.” He recommended practicing an attitude of perpetual gratitude.

That's not hard when times are good. But during challenging times an attitude of continual thankfulness can be a tall order. Yet Tempelton offers a radical solution. Don't just give thanks for your blessings. Be grateful for your problems, too.

This seems wildly counterintuitive at first blush. But facing our challenges makes us stronger, smarter, tougher, and more valuable as leaders, employees, parents, mates, ...and human beings.

"Solving problems is what were made for" it's what makes life worth living," remarked Templeton.

He goes on, "Adversity, when overcome strengthens us. So we are giving thanks not for the problem itself but for the strength and knowledge that comes from it. Giving thanks for the growth ahead of time will help you grow through--not just go through--your challenges."

What ever problems we're grappling with--personal, social, health, or financial--the best course is to face them with all the courage, patience, and equanimity you can muster.

And if possible be grateful.

On occasion, of course, our problems are simply bigger than we are. In an address in 1859, Abraham Lincoln recounted the following tale:

It is said that an Eastern Monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and in all situations. They presented him with the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!

That's something worth keeping in mind.

Whatever your problems, few of them can withstand the onslaught of optimism, persistence, and a genuine spirit of gratitude.

As the poet Robert Frost reminds us, "The best way out is always through."

Check out a related post: Winning By Giving


Happy Thanksgiving!

Peter Mclees

Email: petercmclees@gmail.com  or  Mobile:323-854-1713

Productive Conflict Is Essential to Your Team's Success

From the book: The Five Dysfunctions of a Team

"The purpose of conflict is to create."  Michael Meade

Conflict.

Put people together doing most anything for most any length of time and conflict will occur. Put people together and ask them what the challenges are at work, and conflict will always come up. People have experience and an opinion about conflict, and they don’t talk about positively. We face conflict and generally think if we could rid ourselves of it, we would be better off. Yet, we must be careful about what we ask for, because zero-conflict shouldn’t be the goal. Productive conflict should be.

Not all Conflict is Created Equal

When we think about conflict we think about the negative implications; the frustration, stress and anger.  Certainly, conflict can cause those reactions and all of us have experienced them.  But let’s not paint all conflict with the same brush. Here are three types of conflict you might encounter at work.

• Task conflict. When people have different expectations of what others are doing or should be doing, task conflict may occur. When these differences exist, arguments about resource allocation, priorities and assumption of blame can occur.

• Relationship conflict. Style differences are real and can be the source of conflict in the organizational petri dish. Often when people “don’t get along” conflicts can grow.

• Values conflict. Conflicts can arise with people when there are differences in deeply held values. While most people say we shouldn’t talk about things like politics and religion at work, sometimes values differences create workplace conflict.

Consider a Conflict-Free Workplace

On a first look, thinking about a workplace with none of the conflicts above sounds pretty good.  But let’s look again. Without differences of opinion, experience and perspective, if people always defer to the previously stated idea or decisions, what will we have?

Imagine having an idea that is different from conventional wisdom or past practice.  Without the presence and allowance for conflict, will those be shared? This is a prescription for a dull and boring workplace where no ideas are created, and little improvement will occur.

Just because conflict can be uncomfortable, and can become a problem, that doesn’t mean we should want a complete absence of it.

Creating a Healthy Relationship with Conflict

So, if conflict can get out of hand, but also has value, how do we find the right balance or create a healthy relationship with it?  When we recognize that the existence of conflict isn’t the problem, but how we feel about it is.  Here are some ways to get the balance right – to reduce the stress and emotion and get the value of different viewpoints.

• Focus on the perspective, not the person. Conflict doesn’t have to get personal. The longer it lingers without open conversation, the more likely it becomes personal.

• Assume positive intent. When we start with the belief that others want good results like we do, we have a for better chance of hearing them and gaining the value from differences.  

• Keep everyone focused on the organizational goals. When we have agreement on the goals, we can all put ideas and viewpoints into that context and create healthy conversation and debate.

Of course, this is just a start, but these three practices will give everyone on your team a new, healthier view of conflict and its role in your ultimate success.

For more tips on making conflict productive, check out these articles.

The Root Cause and Cure for Most Team 

Strategies for Conflict Resolution in the Workplace

Managing Conflict Between and Among Team Members

To your greater success and fulfillment,

Peter Mclees, Leadership Coach, Trainer and Performance Consultant

SMART DEVELOPMENT

Take the Next Step... 

Interested in learning how to develop your organization's culture, employee engagement and leadership capability? We begin with a collaborative discovery process identifying your unique needs and business issues. To request an interview with Peter Mclees please contact: 

Email: petercmclees@gmail.com  or  Mobile:323-854-1713

Smart Development has an exceptional track record helping service providers, ports, sales teams, restaurants, stores, distribution centers, food production facilities, nonprofits, government agencies and other businesses create a strong culture, leadership bench strength, coaching skills and the teamwork necessary for growth. 

Having worked with several companies throughout their growth cycle, we have valuable insights and strategies that would help any late stage startup, small or medium sized company achieve sustained growth and prosperity.