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Saturday, May 12, 2018

When Faced With A Contentious Meeting, Apply the Monks Technique










The company had two quarreling departments. Sales and production. Market share had declined. Sales were down. Customer complaints were up. The blame game seemed to be the only game. The upcoming meeting was intended to get the two departments to work together for the good of the company. With lines drawn and sides taken, tensions were high. Trouble brewed. 

The company brought me in to facilitate the meeting. As everyone took seats around the conference table, members were grouped in their departments. Small talk was very small, strained.

I began the meeting by stating the issues before them, and the importance of how they addressed and resolved them. I then said, "Let me share a story about a European monastery that had a problem. When the monks got together to discuss scripture, the exchanges often got out of hand. Debates would become heated, personal and leave wounds.

As a result, the monastery established a ground rule. Whenever one monk disagreed with another, he could only do so if he confirmed with the other monk the position that he was about to dispute."

"Let's say for example, we're monks at the monastery, and the topic is the expulsion from the Garden of Eden."

I looked at one of the team members and said, "let's say Jim asserts it's Eve's fault."

I looked at another team member and said, Gina vehemently disagrees with Jim's view. She thinks it's Adam's fault. Gina's free to express her disagreement however she wishes so long as she first confirms with Jim his view."

I continued. "Now let's say that after Gina finishes stating her position, Jim wants to return fire. He likewise can do so provided he first confirms Gina's position with her."

I looked at another team member and said, "Now let's say Erica disagrees with both Jim and Gina. She thinks it's the serpent. Again, Erica has the freedom to do so provided she first confirms with each of them their views she's about to disagree with."

At the point, an outspoken production manager frowned and said, " I have a problem with your rule Peter. I've got other things to do after this meeting. If we do all this confirming about what we disagree with, we'll waste a lot of time. I don't have all day!"

"I agree with you, I said. We don't want to waste time, and we don't want to be here all day. However, I believe the Monks Technique will actually prevent those things from happening. I also think it will enable production and sales to work together in the best interest of the company, drawing on the insights of everyone here. And it will help production and sales function cohesively after this meeting.

"But I tell you what," I added. "If the technique starts to bog us down, we'll abandon it."

The meeting proceeded. Results? The tension in the room left almost immediately. No angry outbursts. No ad hominem arguments. Instead, the exchanges were thoughtful, respectful and substantive.

Alhtough the two departments didn't follow the technique religiously (Pardon the pun), there was enough confirming and clarifying that all sides of the issue was fully vetted, including the pros and cons of each option, the steps that would need to be taken and how the deparments would work together after the meeting.

Score one for the monks.


To your greater success and fulfillment,
Peter Mclees, Leadership Coach, Trainer and Performance Consultant
SMART DEVELOPMENT

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