The 30-Second Rule of Engagement

Social psychologists have studied "first impressions"(called the primacy effect by researchers) for decades. The research shows that positive or negative impressions between people are formed within the first thirty seconds of a conversation. People who want to make an impression that is positive and lasting can use the 30-Second Rule of engagement. This practice can be used to better engage employees, customers, family and friends.

The 30-Second Rule is a simple yet powerful communication practice. It means that within the first thirty seconds of a conversation with an employee or customer, a leader or sales associate encourages or appreciates them in same way. The 30-Second Rule gives people the Triple-A treatment: attention, affirmation, and appreciation. All people feel and do better when they are given these things in a conversation. Leaders can easily engage customers and employees by giving them their undivided attention and by showing their appreciation in the first thirty seconds of a conversation. Leaders will be surprised by how positively people respond to the Triple-A treatment.

"Everyone has an invisible sign around their neck. It says, 'Make Me Feel Important!'"

                                                                                                                                   --M. K. Ash

The 30-Second Rule In Action

The key to the 30-Second Rule is when you make contact with people to search for ways make them look good. Everyday before you meet with people, pause and think about something encouraging or affirming that you can tell them. For employees, what you say can be one of many things: You might thank them for something they've done for you or the company. You might tell others about one of their accomplishments. You might praise them for a something they've done that's above and beyond the ordinary. Or you might simply compliment their appearance. For customers, of course, what you'd say is anything you'd share with a good friend. The practice isn't complicated, but it does take some time, effort, and discipline to see what's good because it's much easier to see what isn't. The reward for practicing it is huge, because it really makes a positive impact on people.

The 30-Second Rule of Engagement Gives People Energy

Psychologist Henry H. Goddard conducted a study on energy levels in children using an instrument called an "egograph." His findings are fascinating. He discovered that when tired children were given a word of encouragement or praise, the egograph showed an immediate upward surge of energy in children. When the children were criticized or discouraged, the egograph showed their physical energy showed a sudden nosedive in energy.**

We all know this intuitively. When someone sincerely praises us (as opposed to shallow and insincere flattery) our energy goes up. Words have great power.

"Encouragement is oxygen to the soul." ----George Matthew Adams

Everyone needs motivation from time to time. Using the 30-Second Rule helps encourage people to be and do their best. Motivation makes it possible to accomplish what should be accomplished.

One side benefit of the 30-Second Rule is that it helps the leader. A leader can't help others without helping themselves. Benjamin Franklin realized this truth and he encouraged others with it. In a letter to John Paul Jones he wrote:

"Hereafter, if you should observe an occasion to give your officers and friends a little more praise than their due, and confess a little more fault than you can justly be charged with, you will only become the sooner for it, a great captain. Criticizing and censuring almost everyone you have to do with, will diminish friends, increase enemies, and thereby hurt your affairs."

The 30-Second Rule's initial impact goes a long way in making others feel connected to you.

All the success,

Peter Mclees